"Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
Sometimes I feel like my own alter-ego.
There are times here when I sit down with someone I don’t know, and we start to talk, and we laugh with each other, and I’m listening to the stories on their hearts—and my mind takes a moment to step away and look in on the situation from the outside. I look at where I am, who I am talking to, and what we are saying.
And I wonder, Is that me?
I felt it a little while working at camp, but not nearly like this. At times I wonder what some people from America would think of me if they observed me here, and what people here would think of me if they observed me in America.
Of course I am still me. The attributes I have here and the attributes I have in the west are all a part of me. It’s just some are more easily visible in certain places. I suppose that’s one reason why I like it here so much: I like how easy it is to be who I want to be. For some reason I have a lot more courage here. For some reason it is much simpler to talk with people and pray with people in Pagudpud, to be more outgoing and adventurous and not let fear or uncertainty get in the way of doing what I really want to do. I’m still trying to figure out why that is…
Perhaps it has something to do with having the official “Student Missionary” title. Or maybe it has to do with how white people are received here. Or maybe it’s related to the easy-going Filipino lifestyle. I don’t know. But I like it.
It’s my prayer that I can continue living in this way when I return to the states. I hope that I will be able to keep growing more and more, and overcome my hesitations or uncertainties of getting to know people. I don’t want to leave this Katelyn in the Philippines when May rolls around. So in the meantime I will continue solidifying my characteristics. And enjoy doing so!
I think there is a lot of truth to what you said, how they receive you there....a simpler life, more open, more trusting. The West is very judgmental and I like you, would like to be in the environment you're in. I picture that as a small piece of what heaven is like. Soak it in and bring it back. We need more here.
ReplyDeleteI think it's so stupid how here in the States we're always worried about what other people think of us. Our true selves become marginalized by society. I think working at camp really helps bring out who we truly are. It forces us to humble ourselves.
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